when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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