she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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