don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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