I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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