is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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