I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
