Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
