Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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