you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
