guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just found a bag of teeth...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
