is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
