I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
