Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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