Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
