I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize