he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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