The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize