you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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