she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
