I'm drive I can fine osifer
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
