im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my shit smells like andre
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
my liver is dry heaving
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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