i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
