I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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