I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
