why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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