I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
