I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
