Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
