You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
