shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
