Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have demons in me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
