If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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