I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
please come you make the beer taste better
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
