if you like me you must not know who I am
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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