We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
