I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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