69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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