i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
