I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
