The beer is more important than you right now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
