My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize