Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
