hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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