Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
