so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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