So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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