You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
