The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
