omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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