dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
