Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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