Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
