farters have to be the big spoon...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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