Please, let me fuck your mom
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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