I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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