Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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