I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i came on her dog
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
