I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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