K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
