I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
