I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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